Part 1: Nutrition, Not Restriction. Learning how to eat intuitively.

Updated: Mar 15

During the month of March I want to begin sharing about intuitive eating and how to listen to your body’s natural cues and trusting what it has to say as opposed to diet culture.

National Eating Disorder Awareness Week just came to an end February 22nd – 28th, but I want to keep the conversation going. Especially for those of you in the sober community. Disordered eating is very common amongst those that also have AUD. There have been many studies researching the correlation between the two and I will leave it up to you to dig deeper on that topic.

For me personally, when I look back over the last 20+ years of my life and during my alcohol addiction, my eating habits were horrible. I struggled with body image, just like a majority of women, and that played a big role in what I chose to consume.

The problem was that when it came down to deciding between calories from food or alcohol, I’d much rather go without food so I could drink.

The idea of having both would send me into a tailspin of self-destruction. No way could I gain weight. But also, no way could I give up my alcohol.

Inevitably there would be nights that sheer will power wasn’t enough to keep the hunger pangs away, and after a dozen beers my determination to not eat became much less. Leaving me drunk driving to the nearest fast-food drive through, shoveling food into my face quicker than I could get home and face plant into my bed from pure exhaustion.

The next day would be spent beating myself up for not only drinking again, but also drinking more than I promised myself I would and then now for also caving into my hunger pangs and eating and eating fast food at that. I would have an all-day inner dialogue of berating myself.

  • “You’re such a fucking idiot!”

  • “WTF is wrong with you?”

  • “You’re so fucking fat.”

  • “You’re such a piece of shit.”

  • “You have no will power”

  • “No wonder you’re single. Who would want to be with someone who has a belly & drinks like this”?

  • “How many times do we have to go through this? You dumbass.”

  • “You’re so unbelievably weak”

  • “Loser!”

  • “I hate you! I hate my body”

  • “Why can’t you control yourself?”

After spending all day telling myself how awful I was, it’s no wonder I ended up severely depressed and ultimately right back on that barstool to do it all over again.

  • “Fuck it, what does it matter? I’m a loser anyways.”

  • “May as well have something that will make me feel better and make my brain shut the fuck up!”